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  • Writer's pictureWendy Haller

Holding a Grudge or Setting Boundaries

Updated: Jun 14, 2023

My family likes to make fun of me and say I hold grudges. Maybe I was burned too many times by certain people that I would finally say, ‘enough’.

I think many of us get this way after giving a person too many chances. You get burned so many times, you don’t go too close to the fire again.

Is that holding a grudge or setting boundaries for yourself?

Over the past few years, I’ve realized, I’m not holding grudges. I’m setting boundaries. To protect myself, my energy, I have learned to set boundaries with those who don’t serve my greater good, who hurt me or my children. I’ve come to the realization that it is better for my own mental health to protect me and my own instead of worrying so much about the other person's feelings.

The Oxford dictionary defines grudge and boundary as…

grudge; a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury

boundary; a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

So, when you think of a certain person, is it a grudge you are holding or have you set a boundary between yourself and that person?

Why allow someone to have that much control in your life? Or to have a persistent feeling of resentment eating away at your soul because of them?

Instead, let’s create that boundary, mark the limits to which we will allow someone else to have that much effect on us. When the thought of them comes into our heads like a gnat flying around and irritating our inner self, flick them away.

Set your boundaries. Create that dividing line between their insults or hurtful ways and your own heart and self-worth. Return to the time of a child and run away saying “You can’t get me, you can’t get me” and don’t let them.

Our inner peace is worth creating that dividing line between the weight of that negativity and our own happiness.

With love and kindness,


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Great site

Wendy Haller
Wendy Haller

Thank you

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