Hot Mess Haller Moment: Vertically Challenged

Anyone who is short like me (4'11") will absolutely relate to this story.

I ran into Walmart with a mission: two items.

Get in, get out, get on with my life. Simple. Efficient. Foolproof.

(We all know where this is going.)

The store is currently being redesigned, which means shelves are half-stocked, things are moved around, and nothing is where it should be. I weave my way to the paper goods aisle, already mentally checking off item number one: napkins.

I get to the usual spot… and the shelf is empty.

Of course it is.

I pause. Sigh. Consider abandoning the mission entirely. But then I remember, as a vertically challenged human, I sometimes forget to look above my normal line of sight.

So I look up.

And there they are. 

My Bounty napkins. Sitting proudly on the top shelf.

Completely. Out. Of. Reach.

I do what any reasonable adult would do—I go looking for help.

I head to one end of the aisle. No employees. Other end? Still no one.

Now I’m standing there, staring up at my napkins like they’re a prize in some cruel game show.

What’s a short girl to do?

Well… if you’ve ever been in this situation, you already know the answer.

I climbed the shelf.

Listen—it wasn’t dramatic. Maybe one shelf. One and a half, tops. I had it under control. Napkins in hand, victory secured.

And then…A throat clears.

I turn—still mid-climb—and there are two very tall teenage employees standing at the end of the aisle, watching me like I’m part of the store entertainment.

One of them says, “Can I help you, ma’am?”

I carefully climb down, clutching my napkins, and say, “Not anymore.”

We laugh.

I check out, feeling both accomplished and slightly embarrassed…and walk out of the store.

I get in my car and drive away completely forgetting the second item I came in for...cat food.

Of course.

If you're a fellow shorty with a good story or have a hot mess moment to share, please let me know. I'd love to hear it.